Did someone from the past tried to come back in your present and then you're thinking about your future?
October 22, 2014
Is it the sun coming up? Or is it just you brightening up my day? Is it the camera that makes me smile? Or is it just you drawing it on my face? Oh come on. The spirit of being odd is on me again. The force were never on our favor neither the odds.
Why did you come back? It's been two years that I kept silent. I kept the urge of saying "Hi" to you for a very long long time. I don't think you know how hard is that. How hard to make things easier to get moving along. I never even thought I can do that. It's because I thought that you wanted space and time because I absurdly destroyed your life and ruined every single part of it since I came. That's what you want to tell me, right? I know. I already realized of that from the very beginning and I want to know it will end. And now here it is. I learned my lesson, you got your freedom and a well bounded experience from me. I even thought you should be thankful. Nah, just kidding. I know, no time for cranky jokes, but you were the one who started to take everything seriously. I'm just reducing the weight, I'm doing you a favor in the middle of this. Isn't that good? Again, I made a very wrong move. I'm sorry and I accept that.
Why did you come back? It's been me all along trying to forget you, trying to stop reminiscing of the bitter-sweet memories of us. I've been trying to bury it down, but the gravity is pulling it up. The gravity of the thought, of the fact, of the feeling, of the reality that I still love you. But I know this nonsense has to stop. It's been me all along trying to drag you down, my presence dragging you down to the well of sucked up and and of the feeling being imprisoned in a cage.
Why did you come back? I've already set you free. You were never mine, I know that. I have my limitations. I have my rules. I set my boundaries. I killed my happiness. I drowned myself to make everything okay once again. I made myself strong and mature to fix everything I broke but I never fixed my broken self. I never found the other pieces but don't mind me. I know that I gave you a prick on your lovely journey. I'm sorry if my slow and mild tiptoes of love gave you nothing but headaches and heartaches. I killed myself slowly with the thought that this is it. This is the end. This is where I should stop in the wondrous pathway of being in the state of love. Maybe I was wrong that I gave you a glance on that very first day. I sound overreacting, right? I'm sorry again about that. I haven't' take my medicines yet. The medicines of the faith that it prescribed to me. The medicine of courage to move on and the free will to let go. But I'm going to be fine again because I know you found your happiness, there's no hindrance to it now. You'll be find your zing soon.
But why did you come back? I don't understand. Now it's all coming back. It's all coming back slowly. The memories are back. They are creeping me out again. They are haunting me again. There is something they want to prove, wanting to show me. What is it? We were okay and now it's coming back, we are again circling in this world called... I don't even know.
I said I love you. You said you hate me. I let you go and now you're haunting me back.
Please tell me. Let me understand. Why is that? Why did you come back?
-White Shadows.
October 22, 2014
Is it the sun coming up? Or is it just you brightening up my day? Is it the camera that makes me smile? Or is it just you drawing it on my face? Oh come on. The spirit of being odd is on me again. The force were never on our favor neither the odds.
Why did you come back? It's been two years that I kept silent. I kept the urge of saying "Hi" to you for a very long long time. I don't think you know how hard is that. How hard to make things easier to get moving along. I never even thought I can do that. It's because I thought that you wanted space and time because I absurdly destroyed your life and ruined every single part of it since I came. That's what you want to tell me, right? I know. I already realized of that from the very beginning and I want to know it will end. And now here it is. I learned my lesson, you got your freedom and a well bounded experience from me. I even thought you should be thankful. Nah, just kidding. I know, no time for cranky jokes, but you were the one who started to take everything seriously. I'm just reducing the weight, I'm doing you a favor in the middle of this. Isn't that good? Again, I made a very wrong move. I'm sorry and I accept that.
Why did you come back? It's been me all along trying to forget you, trying to stop reminiscing of the bitter-sweet memories of us. I've been trying to bury it down, but the gravity is pulling it up. The gravity of the thought, of the fact, of the feeling, of the reality that I still love you. But I know this nonsense has to stop. It's been me all along trying to drag you down, my presence dragging you down to the well of sucked up and and of the feeling being imprisoned in a cage.
Why did you come back? I've already set you free. You were never mine, I know that. I have my limitations. I have my rules. I set my boundaries. I killed my happiness. I drowned myself to make everything okay once again. I made myself strong and mature to fix everything I broke but I never fixed my broken self. I never found the other pieces but don't mind me. I know that I gave you a prick on your lovely journey. I'm sorry if my slow and mild tiptoes of love gave you nothing but headaches and heartaches. I killed myself slowly with the thought that this is it. This is the end. This is where I should stop in the wondrous pathway of being in the state of love. Maybe I was wrong that I gave you a glance on that very first day. I sound overreacting, right? I'm sorry again about that. I haven't' take my medicines yet. The medicines of the faith that it prescribed to me. The medicine of courage to move on and the free will to let go. But I'm going to be fine again because I know you found your happiness, there's no hindrance to it now. You'll be find your zing soon.
But why did you come back? I don't understand. Now it's all coming back. It's all coming back slowly. The memories are back. They are creeping me out again. They are haunting me again. There is something they want to prove, wanting to show me. What is it? We were okay and now it's coming back, we are again circling in this world called... I don't even know.
I said I love you. You said you hate me. I let you go and now you're haunting me back.
Please tell me. Let me understand. Why is that? Why did you come back?
-White Shadows.
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